Sunday, 24 August 2014

Why we need love?

                I think we need love. I am SO MUCH HAPPIER now that I consider love from others a need. Here's something that might help you. Instead of noticing you want more than your friends or family have to offer, figure out what the needs are. What do you want to DO with a romantic partner you can't do with your family? Sometimes your family isn't connecting with you in ways you need, that you might be able to find other ways.Do you want more physical contact? Do you want to be validated and heard? Do have deep inner passions and and inner self you long to connect with a kindred spirit offer? See these things as NEEDS, they are totally valid, but don't assume you have to find a romantic partner to fill them.
Do you want people to laugh with more, who have a similar silly way of being? Or who are serious and can resonate with deeper contemplations? I guess what I mean is pick the things you're wanting from intimacy and seek them out. You can pay for massage to have more physical contact, find friends that are more muggy if you want huggy friends. Do you want someone to live with you so you share a living space? That can be a great experience and some of us like being social in our homes. Do you want romantic dinners? Ask your friends to go out for dinner places with pretty lighting. Go learn to salsa dance. DO the romantic things you want to be doing and create a space where you're already living things you want to be sharing with someone else. Along the way, it's likely you'll meet someone who wants to do those things too, that you can relate with.

It's likely you have some real needs for external support and validation and you don't feel secure because you don't have that connection (or trust that connection) right now. Find out what you feel you are needing that makes it feel like a NEED and embrace having that in your life. I dislike people who claim love isn't a need. I think they are silly and become guru's because people feel tough following them. (Well and also because any way you can kick dependence to abusive support is usually worth it even if you have to tell yourself a half truth).

I think we need love! Especially those of us who ....well especially feel like our most favourite thing ever is love. Do loving kindness meditation, connect with other people who love love, celebrate the fact that many people need love and believe others need love. I haven't found a romantic partner since deciding that love is a need, but I have in fact found much more genuine connection with others who also believe love is a need. The point is to see love as a need, not a specific person as a need. That way you can give and receive care for the people you're with without focus on the someday dream and focus on the fact that maybe you are needing intimacy you can have right now with people already in your life if you see that they can really be part of your support system and you theirs. While celebrating that as soon as you find the right mutually beneficial romantic partner you (and everyone who wants that!) definitely should have a romantic partner!
All we know that "LOVE IS BLIND".

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