Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Here’s What Love Feels Like When I Met You

I start every letter to you with I love you. This isn’t to follow some sort of standard. This isn’t to be cliche. This is because that’s the first thing that comes to mind when I think of you.

Before I met you

Before I met you people would always ask me questions about love. I would answer them as if I had a clue. I didn’t even have a clue what I wanted to be. I just gave them answers on what I thought the rules were. Fall in love, fall out of love, meet someone new, and do it all over again. This seemed easy enough. It seemed easy enough to create this routine around your heart and hope that one day it would stop doing laps and finally settle down.

Then I met you

Then I met you. You, crazy, smart, funny, beautiful, perfect, challenging, caring, unpredictable, predictable. I didn’t know what adjectives to put towards the perfection that is you. I’m not naive. I won’t say it was perfect. I won’t say I said the right things or I swept you off your feet. I won’t say that I gave you expensive things or took you places you have never been. But that was okay because my favorite place in the world is having you in my arms. Keeping you safe. Dreaming of days and years or even minutes. You have completely taken my heart. When I think back to that idea I had of the heart doing laps until it finally slows down I realize the answer. So ask me. I dare you to ask me about love. If you do my answer is quite simple.

Love is

Love is falling and fighting but still managing to feel the way you felt when you first touched her hand. Love is going to a store and seeing those custom alphabetical ornaments hoping to find her name even though they never have yours. Love is finding all of those flaws and turning them into a muse for a poem or a song without her even knowing you did it in the first place. People will say I am crazy for thinking that I could possibly find love in the first person I have ever loved. Well, I am crazy. I am crazy in love with you because you’ve done an amazing job at not making me want to love anyone else the way I do you.
If my words run empty and your heart happens to run a lap for someone else I would be okay with that. I know it won’t be easy. We’ll get angry, we’ll get mad, we may even shut each other out. But you once told me that I have to work hard for what I want. Babe, I want you. I love you and I’ll never get tired of saying it. So if I’m crazy maybe you’ll be crazy too.

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